Super Hero Pizzas!
Let's take a break from all the awesome Halloween stuff that I've been covering and travel WAY BACK to ... September 13, 2014, where we will delve into pizza.
See, on a recent trip to Michigan, my beautiful wife and I went to Walmart. Why? Because we were in town for a wedding.
To many of you, Walmart is a commonplace thing that you take for granted. Many of you "own cars" or "don't live in the greatest city in the world (New York City)", and thus have easy access to that paragon of weird people. (Be real, ok? Everyone in there is weird. Including you.)
The problem is that our trip took place RIGHT as stores were ramping up for Halloween. (Thanks for planning your wedding so close to Halloween, cousin!) And once I started covering Halloween stuff, when was I going to find time to show off the Marvel-themed pizzas that I found in the semi-frozen foods section?
Now. The answer is RIGHT NOW!
There, I've stretched that out, for having nothing to say! JEFF SMASH KEYBOARD!
The correct answer is "Chris Pratt". (Am I RIGHT, ladies?!)
<sings>When Captain America throws his mighty pizza / All those who chose to oppose his shield must yield ... izza!
Again, to many of you, there is nothing wondrous about seeing these pizza boxes, as you see them every god damn time you go to Walmart because your god damn kids won't stop whining that they want to god damn eat frozen pizza for dinner. This post is not for you. This post is for me - and those like me - whose bank accounts refuse to grow large enough to buy a car ... or who don't live in the greatest city in the world, New York City.
I can be followed on Twitter @sommerjam! DO IT! DO IT NOW!!!