Star Trek Thing!


The other day my beautiful wife and I were cleaning. Specifically, we were going through shelves and closets and under-the-bed boxes, hunting for things to sell at our Stoop Sale. (The moratorium on asking me about that subject is still in place. Thank you for continuing to respect my boundaries.) 

Now, you find all kinds of crazy stuff, when you're looking for things to sell. You're opening drawers and boxes you've not looked in for years. Us? We came across a thing that I will, from now on, call a Mysterious Star Trek: The Next Generation Slideshow Keychain.

It looks like this:
Ironic that it has "focus" printed on the side, as focus is exactly what this picture needs!
Take THAT, my poor photo skills!

I held it up and, never being one to hide my feelings, said, "Ugh! Do you still want to keep this?" Thinking we could get a cool quarter for it at our sale. Retirement would be within our grasp!

I was met with a blank stare. "Um... That's yours" said she.
"Nuh-uh!"
"Yuh-huh!"
My wife and I are very eloquent and learned. This back and forth went on for quite some time.

At this point, my distrust of my poor memory (at least for things as minor as gewgaw ownership) started to kick in:
"Really?" I said, starting to doubt myself. Had she pressed the point, I might have been convinced that I really DID buy this thing and promptly forgotten that I had. I should start getting tattoos of the things I buy. Or take polaroids. "Don't trust his lies" scrawled beneath an old Ninja Stikfas. So true.

"Naw!" I continued, "This is definitely yours! I was never a huge Star Trek fan ... but you were." QED!
"Nope. I know for a fact that that is not mine." UN-QED'd!

Then we both stopped and stared at each other. The we both, in unison, turned our gaze to stare down at the little keychain. Then we both started screaming ...

But let me talk a little about what this Mysterious Star Trek: The Next Generation Slideshow Keychain is. It's a tiny little one-eyed ViewMaster (MonoMaster?) that has a small roll of film in it. Actually, the roll of film in thre is way bigger than you think it's going to be, given the thing's size. There's, like, 25 images. When I first started clicking through, I got a little bored. It needed to trim the second act a bit.

Get bored, yourself, by watching this video that I made of the exciting contents. I had to hold my cell phone's camera up to the eyepiece and it was way harder to film than you think it should be, so cut me some slack on the quality. Who knew holding a phone and a keychain together, while also needing to use both of those hands for functionalities of each device, WHILE making sure the sun angles just right into the tiny light-reflector thing would be so hard?

If I had tools and a work bench, I'd have made a jig. Alas.



How many can YOU name? A better blogger might research each and give you the answers, but I've found that there are no easy answers. (Meaning: It would take me too long AND you shouldn't have me do all the work for you, anyway. It's lose/lose. A FOOL'S GAME!)

Ferengi, probably Quark?



NOTE: Before my beautiful wife comments on the accuracy of this story, allow me to paraphrase Mark Twain: "Never let the facts get in the way of a good story!" (And, since he said "truth" instead of "facts", it's not much of a paraphrase and could have just said the real quote. Must I be so difficult?)
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