I had the day off, so I went to the supermarket


My big secret, if I have one, is that I like grocery shopping. Sure, this “secret” will not tank my chances of successfully running for president (my laziness and hatred of politics takes care of THAT dream), but, I dunno, I guess I’ve just thought that this shouldn’t “get around”. Now that it’s out, everyone’s going to ask me to go grocery shopping for them.
But even more than grocery shopping, I just love going to the grocery store. I just love looking at all the STUFF. The bigger the store the better, too, because it just means they’ll have more STUFF.
Honestly, if you have to go grocery shopping, I will go with you. No questions asked. It’s even more fun when it’s someone else’s errand to run.
This probably stems from my childhood, when I’d go grocery shopping with my mom. I loved it. SHE was the one concerned with getting what we needed, I was just looking at all the STUFF. And there was SO MUCH STUFF. So many brands and things that I’d never heard of, never tried, and never would (mainly because mom would, rightly, tell me, “Put that back, that’s garbage. Here, let’s buy these Frookies - they’re made with fruit sugar!” And then we’d all pretend they were just as good as Oreos. But I digress.
The grocery store is a god-send for someone hoping to blog more, too, as there are always new products. For instance:


The claim to “America’s Favorite Garlic” notwithstanding this is amazing. We’ve put minced garlic into a bottle. a SQUEEZABLE bottle, so you can squirt it, Gatorade-style, right into your mouth during a sports game. Or onto a burger. Or add it to iced coffee for an early-morning pick-me up. 
I will not make a Spice World / Spice Girls joke, but you will all assume that I did, because I am no stranger to picking low-hanging joke-fruit. (Squeeze garlic on joke-fruit for an exciting surprise taste that’ll leave the kids wanting more!)
And, no, I did not buy that. No, there will not be a taste-test video. Yes, I am just as upset as you, but, as I already bought something I didn’t need  for the sake of a later post / video, I couldn’t rationalize off the extra extra expense….
Just like true love is not based on one facet of the personality of the object of your affection, I don’t like the supermarket just the groceries, either. As with many supermarkets, the surrounding areas of the supermarket are also full of STUFF! Ok, not so much before entering, which is just empty baskets and a corkboard with local flyers on it, but after you’ve paid? Observe Lotto machines, giant discount liquor store, Coinstar machines, quarter toy dispensers, crane game, water cooler bottle return, Dunkin’ Donuts, AND an out-of date trading card vending machine to gawk at. 
My supermarket is a wonderland.
I’m not going to cover any of that other STUFF, this time, because you’re probably tl;dr-ing this as I type, but I also want to stretch out my blogging career for as long as possible.
FULL DISCLOSURE: I also bought fixin’s to make BLTs. But it’s going to be turkey bacon. And they’ll be on multi-grain wraps.
Do I know how to LIVE, or what?!