A Slurpee Flavor I Did Not Try

Throwin' shade at other Slurpees!
"GURL, you gotta have a brain to get brainfreeze!"
The best thing about summer is that I don't have to look a fool drinking Slurpees. Don't lie, I know you all judge me when you see me roll by, sippin' a Slurp'*, when there's snow on the ground. You're all like, "What a fool! Let's slash his tires!"

Such are the neuroses of me.

And the best thing about Slurpees is that there are always so many flavors to choose from ... even if I always opt for my good old standby of "Cherry" mixed with "Coke". That combination has gotten me through some rough times. How awful would I feel turning my back on it, when it never turned its sugary-sweet shoulders to me?

Of course, rules can be bent. Like that one time I went to a 7-Eleven on Staten Island (not the great one in Old Town that I will probably blog about later this summer), but a new one over by my grandma's house. (Which makes visiting my grandma 3% more appealing ... sorry grandma!) THAT one didn't stock Cherry. Which ... if someone had told me that there is a demographic area in which Cherry would NOT be a hot seller, I would have immediately called them a liar and revoked their credentials as a certified Slurpologist. (Note to self: Print up "Certified Slurpologist" business cards.) But the empirical evidence was there: No Cherry.

Seeing me locked in a stammering, shocked, slack-mouthed befuddlement, my beautiful wife suggested Coke and ORANGE. I think she just wanted to get out of there and knew that if she didn't step in, we were going to be there for a while.

"UGH!", I said. Yet I have, over the years, learned to trust her.

It was great.

Still, I felt like I was cheating on Cherry Coke.

Where was I? Right! New flavors!

So, we were visiting a friend in New Jersey. Whenever I find myself being driven around, in the summer, I will always ask if we can stop at a 7-Eleven. I hope my friends find it endearing.

The same image, again, because I only took the one photo, but this post is getting long and needed another one to kinda break up the huge block of text.

This time, among the flavors offered, I found the above-pictured flavor: Strawberry LemonSHADE. I'd never seen it before, but maybe my Cherry-Coke-blindness has just prevented me from seeing it, until now. Now that I'm constantly on the lookout for things to blog, I'm seeing things I've never seen before. Blogging As A Metaphor For Life. Someone should write that self-help book.

Or Strawberry LemonSHADE is new for this season. Either way.

Now, this time as I stood there, locked in doubt about whether or not I should try it, my wife, realizing that we'd be there for quite some time if she didn't step in, suggested I just get "the usual". Since I had already selected the largest cup - and there was no turning back from that decision, I wanted lots of ounces - she definitely made the right call. Filling a 100-oz. cup with an unknown frozen variable was risky. This is why I love having a wife. They protect you from bad choices. Everyone! Get a wife, now!

Welp, since I didn't try it, I guess this post has to end here. Disappointing in so many ways, I know. Now do you see why I padded so much of it? Why it took so long to address the post's image?

I guess I will have to start going outside of my Cherry-Coke Slurpee comfort zone, though, if I want to make this blog more interesting, huh? Blogging Can Help You Grow As A Person. Another self-help book.

On another note: I've never gotten "brainfreeze" from a Slurpee. It's because I respect the Slurpee, and it would never attack me like that. I am AT ONE with the Slurpee.

*NOTE: I have not, and never will (outside of the above) reference or call a Slurpee a "Slurp'". It was for joke / illustrative purposes only.

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